A D D I C T I O N

2 1/2 weeks ago I got the phone call that I have been dreading my whole life. Something had happened to my dad and we needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Since that day, we've been through a whole range of emotions: sadness, anger, heartbreak, anger, humility, love, friendship. . . .
Yesterday, my dad was moved out of ICU and into a recovery room. I can't begin to explain how greatful I am to my Heavenly Father for keeping him here on this earth. It's only through His mercy that my dad is still here. It's taken all the faith that I could muster to trust that He would do what's right for our family. 3 times, we almost lost him and last Sunday, I really thought it was it. Dad went into cardiac arrest. I know now, that the comfort I felt on the way up there, was not that of loss, but of hope. Throughout this experience we have grown so much closer as siblings! Life tends to get busy and pulls away from the things that truly matter in life: FAMILY! So I am very greatful that through all of the sadness and heartache, I had my family to pull me through. We've also seen the amazing compassion of others, friends, family, who have come up to visit "our" waiting room and brought us delicious meals, snacks, comfort and friendship. I am so overcome with gratitude for them!

We have crossed a huge bridge to get where we are now. But now, the hardest part of all begins. . . healing. With my dad awake, he's started to talk a little bit about what happened. I think part of me was expecting him to wake up and be miraculously healed from his addiction. But that is so not the case. It's hard to see him struggle physically, for the drugs. And it's even harder to see him try to wheel and deal with the nurses, dr's and my grandma for them. We are at a crossroads with his addiction. He can either get the help that we truly know he needs. Or he can continue to let this addiction ruin his life and eventually kill him. I guess my biggest fear is that he'll choose the latter and after all that we've been through these past couple of weeks, I'm not sure that I could handle that. Addiction is such a powerful thing that Satan has put on this earth. It's taken someone that I love soooo much and turned him into someone that despise at times. We will hope for the best and be supportive.

Here are some pics of our shinnanigans on the 4th floor of the U of U hospital. We've met some amazing people there that will never fully know how much they've impacted our lives! Aaron, Tiffany, Kate, Whitney, Stephen, Dave, Tara, Dr. Coles, Dr. Steenbeck, the cute janitor that was so good to clean up after us, and many many more!! Thanks!