Happy Birthday Daddy!

On April 29th, my dad would have been 59.  I decided that I didn't want to spend the day being sad and so I planned a big ol' party for the fam and friends to celebrate his life.  I know that he would have wanted that too.  We had a bounce house, hot dogs and home made rootbeer.  It turned out to be such a fun a day!  The kids had a blast playing in the bounce house and running amuck.

This homemade rootbeer's for you pops!

I love my family.  I'm sad that my dad isn't in this pic :(.  But I know that he is so proud of all of us.

We did a balloon release (I know all you environmental freaks, pretend like you didn't read that)  It was such a beautiful moment!  I could feel my dad with us.  Loved that part!

Does this picture need any explaination? I mean really?

The kiddos having a ball! 

So it's been 8 months already since my dad passed away.  I can't believe it's been that long since I saw him or talked to him.  I think about him all the time and try to remember all his little quarks.  I still feel like I'm picking up pieces here and there of what life was like before September 9th, 2011.  I don't know that I'll ever be the same.  This has changed me.  I don't know what I've learned from it yet.  I'm still figuring so much out about me, about life and about my relationship with my Heavenly Father.  Still working through some anger, some disappointment, and lot's of grief.  I remember when he first passed and people would tell me that it never stops hurting, you just get used to the pain.  I'm still not used to the pain.  I miss him terribly and I'm sad that things weren't good before he died.  I'm sad that i didn't get to tell him I loved him one last time or that I didn't hug him tight enough the last time I saw him.  But I'm getting there.  Very slowly, I'm letting the healing in.  The Lord is so patient with me.  He knows that I need a little more time than most because I question so much.  I think of those times in SuperMan when a building or something collapses on him and he suddenly comes flying out of the rubble and all the "superhero" music starts to play. . . . someday that will be me!  I'm going to come out of this rubble and I'm going to have a theme song!! Something like "I'm Sexy & I Know It".  Until then, I'll keep digging through the rubble. . . or swimming through the molasses. . . . :)