". . . mourning is one of the deepest expressions of love. The Lord said, "Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die" (D&C 42:45)."
This past week has been a tough one for me. Already, we found ourselves on the 2 year mark of when my sweet dad left this earth. I reflected a lot on what these 2 years have been like and could not believe how many hills and valleys I've wandered through to get where I am now. It took me so long to finally turn it all over the Lord and let the pain go. It also took a lot for me to finally realize that none of what happened with my dad was part of the Lord's plan, he would have never wished such horrible things upon anyone, but that through the power of free agency, we are where we are today. My dad made many choices in his life. . . some good. . . some terrible. I'm glad that I get to now focus on the good ones.
As the week progressed, I had a dear friend who found herself in a situation much like dad's. . . so tragic, so senseless and so painful. It brought up so many things from the week we lost dad. As I helped make arrangements for the funeral and the meal for the family in our ward, I found myself feeling so overwhelmed with sadness. What do we learn as family left behind by suicide? How do we ever recover from such tragedy? And it was reaffirmed to me several times. . . the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I was simply amazed by the service I witnessed of so many women who will never really understand how they have changed my life. Women who are busy, have crazy work schedules, have meetings and family events happening, but when called upon on short notice to throw together a casserole or pick up a bag of rolls, they stepped right up without hesitation! So many rainbows through such dark times.
And in the midst of this sad and raging storm. . . I got news that my sweet and loving grandpa AKA Super Gramps. . . was called home on Thursday, September 12th, just 2 years and 3 days after dad. My grandpa was 84, he was a hard worker and a teaser. He passed the loving teasing on to the whole Lloyd family :). He married my grandma when she was 17 and barely graduated from High School. . . such a cradle robber ;). Grandpa's just hold that magical place in our hearts. His face always lit up when he saw us and he would crack some joke. He was such a great example of a good and faithful member of the church. I will definitely miss him, but I know that he's reunited with my dad and my uncle and his brothers, and many more.
His funeral today was beautiful. I love that I got to spend so much time with my family. We have so much fun all together! It was fun to hear so many great stories about a man that influenced my life for the better!
My sweet angel of a daughter right here. . . my cousin captured this pic while we were up at the cemetery. As time has gone on, I've realized how thin the veil is for this little one still. She has had several dreams of her Grandpa, where he comes to play with her or to help her in a scary dream. She's also dreamt about others who have passed, that she hasn't met before. I love to hear about these encounters. I feel so blessed to have this sweet spirit in my life!
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